Worst day ever!!

I'm actually fuming! I'm boiling inside and hurting at the same time, It's unbelievable what I'm about to tell you.
So the boy I've been seeing right, HAS A NEW GIRLFRIEND! WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?! I thought you were seeing me prick! Ahhh, and the thing is my friends thought he was a dickhead in the first place but I always said when he's with me it's different and whenever i'm with him everything else just doesn't exist, i thought it was going somewhere and now, NOW! Urgh! He makes me sickkk, but It hurts so much at the same time!

AND, when i heard the news I texted him to ask him and he didn't reply, which made me even more angry and I binged. That's what it drove me to, I binged so so much and now I feel like a fat cow. I'm fat, I'm single, I can't control myself. I haven't felt this self pitying in a while.

I know that I shouldn't have binged, that was in the moment, but NOW. I'm ready, I'm gonna get so skinny and so hot and just shove it in his face, I'm so determined now. Fast tomorrow, I'm gonna fast until I physically have no energy to get out of bed, whatever it takes, I'm going to show him what he's missing.

Sorry to totally spring this angry side of me on you guys, I just thought he was different... Thinspo?

Let's do this together my beauties. xoxo

Meh, Today was okay.

Been drinking a lot of water, and currently watching 'Center Stage' one of my most favourite films and GREAT thinspiration. I really want to just be at my skinniest now, its getting out of hand lol, i just can't wait, is that being a bit spoilt? like expecting it to just come to me?

So I'm seeing this boy, his name is... well let's call him D. well just wanted to say that his ex girlfriend is absolutely stunning and I don't really live up to it so I'm hoping my body is hotter, I am taller, and i think that helps, whether or not i look good in a bikini or something is doubtful so, i need to get skinny, pronto! Help me please! I want to look as good in a baggy jumper as Hanne Gaby Odiele does below... we all know it's that baggy because she's so tiny. JEALOUS MUCH?

By the way, when was the last time I had dinner? Brilliant.
Stay strong beauties, We're doing it. xoxo

And...

New Kurt Geiger Heels!!!!!
I'm a lover a really high heels, like really high, so when i got these i died! Totally kill after about 4 hours but it's all worth it.

I think i'm used to it now, mainly because what i'm about to tell you might make you think i'm already where i want to be but in reality i'm nowhere near... so i model sometimes, not majorly like edita vilkeviciute or lily donaldson or someone but the occasional thing here and there sometimes. I actually had an american apparel casting 2 weeks ago, haven't heard back yet so probably didn't get it ha! My most proudest moment was when i walked london fashion week, i don't want to be big headed right now or anything i just really want to tell you! But yeah, So that's why i'm used to high heels. Ha that was a long explanation.

I'm more of a dancer anyway.

Stay strong my beauties. xoxo

Edita Vilkeviciute

I've neglected this blog for so long! I'm soooo sorry, I've been so so busy and still am! I'm still on my quest to be major skinny, and just to keep myself and you guys going I thought I'd do a post on my favourite model... Edita Vilkeviciute.
Words can't explain how much I love this woman, and her photos and whenever I watch her on FTv on the runway I just want to be her.
I'm thinking of doing a different model every other day, next is Freja Beha... I could talk about her all day long to. You'll probably see the likes of: Abbey Lee Kershaw, Hanne Gabi Odiele, Karlie Kloss, Natasha Poly etc down the line. I'm quite excited to share my photos with you :D

Going on to me, I've had a rough few weeks, up and down but still with a goal in mind, easter didn't bring me too much chocolate and fatty food thank god! And i've got a few compliments lately... "you're so skinny!" and "i want your figure!" SUCCESS. But i'm not stopping now, hell no! This is just the beginning...

It's taking it's toll.

I'm hardly blogging I know, sorry! I'm constantly tired, I think my anaemia is coming back. Or did it ever really go? Well, i'm tired all the time and I don't eat enough iron to be off my tablets so I think I may need a trip to the doctor soon.


Except, I can't go, I'll just get found out. There are so many things wrong with me, constant cold, lack of energy, occasional hair malting... not nice, hot flashes? what's going on with me! I believe it's worth it, i do, i just want all these things to go away, NOW!

Busy. Busy. Busy.

First of all I have to apologise for not blogging for over a week, I've been super super busy with school and work and LIFE! And feeling totally fat!

It hasn't been the best week, since my diet, it was going so well but I just gave in at times and consumed the most disgusting amounts of food. Why? WHO THE HELL KNOWS!!! But I'm back on track for now, I still haven't bought an outfit for the Brit Awards, so hopefully by the time I do, I'll be skinny enough to make people go WOW.

I especially want to impress this boy I like at school, I have some competition but the other girl who likes him is... to be honest... short and plump. Whereas I'm probably 4 inches taller and how should i word this... not as plump. Hopefully, he chooses me, but who's to know. We get on so well! I don't see why we aren't together yet! Ha... tad bit optimistic?

But anyway, do you remember I mentioned my friend Jay in like my first blog? Well she went to a party the other day and her pictures are up on facebook. HOLY COW she's soooo skinny! I'm so so so jealous! It makes me want to puke up every single tiny crumb I eat, that's how depressing it is to look at how tiny she is. Don't get me wrong, she's great thinspo, since I see her nearly everyday but she just reminds me of how fat I am.

I hope you guys are feeling better than I am...

Diet.

2x kellogg bar - 88 cals each.

Water about 7 glasses and a 500ml bottle.

2x chewing gum

So far, so good.

I'm getting ill though, bad throat, blocked nose and all. My immune system totally picked the wrong time!

They're not eating any cheeseburgers, why should you?