Wednesday, 12 May 2010

Compliments Mean NOTHING.

My friend... let's call him H. My friend H (who by the way is EXTREMELY hot) said I had the best figure in the year today. Now that's something I should be happy with right? But, I'm not. It's not good enough! EVERYONE has to think it for me to be satisfied! One down only about 69 to go. I know I'm being totally dramatic about this but, I'm not satisfied.

I've also had a really bad encounter with the boy I'm seeing, well WAS seeing. And now I'm focusing on getting over him except, every now and again I say "go on Laz, eat the doughnut, for what you've been through this week, you deserve it" NO! I DON'T! If i want things to go to plan, I have to get skinny and HOT, so that he comes crawling back begging for me!

I haven't been on the scales lately, I'm too scared.

OMG! Big News! My friend confessed to us that she was bulimic and that she occasionally has relapses. HA! I know a bulimic when I see one and she is not one! I don't want to sound mean but speaking from experience, and this friend does seek attention all the time, so she's a bit like the boy who cried wolf, I've just stopped believing her now. Maybe she's done it once or twice and thought now she's officially one. Try doing it for 3 years, doesn't get tiring.

There's been so many times when I thought, what are you doing? You're absolutely fine the way you are. But then I don't feel fine, I'm never happy something is always going to be wrong with me and I will die still trying to be perfect. And the funny thing is... I think I'm okay with that.

BONES, BONES and more BONES. Stay strong my beauties xoxo