Wednesday, 12 May 2010

Compliments Mean NOTHING.

My friend... let's call him H. My friend H (who by the way is EXTREMELY hot) said I had the best figure in the year today. Now that's something I should be happy with right? But, I'm not. It's not good enough! EVERYONE has to think it for me to be satisfied! One down only about 69 to go. I know I'm being totally dramatic about this but, I'm not satisfied.

I've also had a really bad encounter with the boy I'm seeing, well WAS seeing. And now I'm focusing on getting over him except, every now and again I say "go on Laz, eat the doughnut, for what you've been through this week, you deserve it" NO! I DON'T! If i want things to go to plan, I have to get skinny and HOT, so that he comes crawling back begging for me!

I haven't been on the scales lately, I'm too scared.

OMG! Big News! My friend confessed to us that she was bulimic and that she occasionally has relapses. HA! I know a bulimic when I see one and she is not one! I don't want to sound mean but speaking from experience, and this friend does seek attention all the time, so she's a bit like the boy who cried wolf, I've just stopped believing her now. Maybe she's done it once or twice and thought now she's officially one. Try doing it for 3 years, doesn't get tiring.

There's been so many times when I thought, what are you doing? You're absolutely fine the way you are. But then I don't feel fine, I'm never happy something is always going to be wrong with me and I will die still trying to be perfect. And the funny thing is... I think I'm okay with that.

BONES, BONES and more BONES. Stay strong my beauties xoxo


  1. :\ I know what the friend thing is like - just ignore her. She obviously doesn't know what she's talking about. And *hugs* for the compliment! I'm certain everyone else is thinking it, even if they're too jealous to say it.

  2. Ah.. if you're friend is saying that she's bulimic, that is clearly something to worry about. Even if she's not bulimic, there definitely has to be some disorder in her personality or self-esteem to make her concoct such a lie.

    I know you probably feel violated and even... invalidated in your disease, but if a friend is willing to reach out like that, do what you can to respond adequately.