Back to my old ways.

I've started purging again, which I should be shameful doing however, I just did it and I feel so much better after it. Although I know if I just didn't eat I wouldn't have to in the first place.

I got told I was heavy today... to put it in to context "You're actually quite heavy, I didn't expect that, maybe it's your muscle, you do have terrific muscles for a dancer."

I know muscle weighs more than fat, but once I heard it i blocked out anything that was even remotely a compliment...Heavy...that's all I heard. I purged as soon as I got home, thing is I've been working out so much lately and been keeping my in take low, surely something's paying off.

I need a fast! My parents are going away soon so I don't have to sit down and eat any meals, just gotta get skinny. GET SKINNY.

I'm so depressed now, it overlooks all the skinny compliments I've been getting lately, for someone to call me heavy. I want to be LIGHT AS A FEATHER. I'm a dancer! Sure we're meant to have muscles but muscles like ballerinas, they're tiny, and me... I'M HEAVY.

I don't know what to do with myself, think I'm going to do some exercise, Heavy my ass. I won't be heavy soon, you just watch!

You're my inspiration, keep going my beauties. xoxo